Moving Forward after Loss: Creation
Two stories come to mind when I consider the concept of beginning again after loss. One is personal, the other mythological, both touching and profound.The personal story is a friend’s story, she was beginning to find her footing following the loss of her beloved. What she shared with me was that out of the darkness she grasped the concept of joy. The word “joy” she said, had a powerful ring to it. Joy resonated clearly and brightly amidst her grief, much the way a light shines in the midst of darkness. And once she grasped joy, the ability to at first think it, then eventually feel it in her mind and heart, it began to light the way for her. She realized that if she could find one thing each day that allowed her to connect with joy, if she could feel joy in her body, she was then not in the dark, that joy was a light. And if she could find and hold this light each day, it would indeed light her way, step by step, out of the darkness of her grief.The other story is archetypal, it’s the story of the Hindu goddess Kali. Kali is the goddess of destruction. Her destruction was not without good intentions, she wrecked devastation upon the demons who were devouring all life on earth in order to save the earth. However, she became enthralled with / lost in destruction, and almost destroyed everything … much the way many of us get lost in our grief and devastation. In Kali’s story, it was stumbling upon a loved one that brought her back to herself, back to consciousness. Once Kali destroyed the dynamic that was taking place on earth, the earth was ripe for new creation, new life, to begin again. Kali energy is like the naturally occurring forest fires whose destruction is absolutely necessary for new creation. Of course the most familiar cycle of destruction and creation for us is our seasons, the loss of life in autumn and winter making way for new life to come in spring-time. Destruction paves the way for creation: one does not exist without the other, just as you can’t have darkness without light.Loss, is devastation, something we love (a person, a relationship, a part of our identity) no longer exists in the form it once did. The process of letting-go is often brutal, and it’s this process, of having to let go of something that we cherish, that leads us into a place of darkness and despair. And, often like Kali, we can get lost in that dark place. It requires a lift in consciousness for us to raise our awareness and attune to the higher energies (in the world around us, or within our self). This is where the light comes in: we can’t get out of the depths of despair to a new and better place without turning up the light to help find our footing and see our path. For my friend, joy brought her the light that helped raise her consciousness. For Kali, looking in the eyes of the one she loved brought her back to her higher consciousness. For some people it’s prayer, for others meditation, there are as many ways to access the light of consciousness as there are people, but the common denominator is conscious choice. We each have to make the choice to want to begin to move forward.The conscious choice to move forward, brings us into the energy of acceptance. Acceptance is the final stage of the grief process, and is a journey in its own right. It is not as if we speak the words “I accept my loss” and we never mourn our loss again. Our slate is not wiped clean, we continue to feel our feelings, but with the gift of higher consciousness, we can expand to contain both the loss and the awareness of more, be that joy, or love, excitement or peace. We have shifted, our consciousness has expanded, we are moving step by step into acceptance. We are new: our lives are new, we are not the same person we once were before the loss, because we integrate our losses into the very fiber of our being. That’s the thing about loss, we never really “get over it,” our loss becomes a part of who we are, yet we are also more. Just as spring brings an abundance of beauty, light, growth, and a sense of excitement and joy, so too does the path of acceptance, because it leads to the new buddings of life.If you are currently dealing with loss, know that the light is all around you and within you. When you are ready to lessen your load, ask up for your light to be increased, and for your steps to be guided. Spiritual resources are abundant and strong, and are awaiting your request. We offer the gift to you of a guided meditation on our website this month on healing through loss. (Click the link for immediate access)