Embracing a New Reality
Adjusting after a loss takes time, patience, and a big dose of courage. Moving on in your life can seem like an overwhelming task that comes with no instructions and no defined place to begin. As you begin to adjust to life after a loss, a new perspective is called for, a new way of making sense of your life. And with this, new questions arise and new thoughts and feelings accompany these questions. What does life look like now? Now that it is time to understand my life in a new way. Now that I am recognizing that there is no going back. What will I do now? Who am I? What do I want in my life? How will I get there? I’m scared…everything is changed. These and many more thoughts and feelings may race through your mind as you begin to move out of grief and despair. So much so, that you may want to stay in the grief…even if it is painful, at least it is predictable, understandable.But there is a new way, and it begins with one step. A step back into the ordinary tasks of life. A step that says “I can do this”. Give yourself permission to try something new, to make a mistake, to start again. With this step comes an inner shift to be open to what is there for you now, and that is the beginning…the start of changing your focus from the past and what once was, to what can be. It opens you to possibilities, to discovery, to embracing a new reality.Sometimes the old feelings of hurt, anger, sadness or guilt may arise that propel you back into fear, despair or helplessness. While this is painful, it is also a normal part of healing. Allowing yourself to experience these feelings will help you move through them. But just as important, is setting your intention to move forward. To remember that life is waiting for you to embrace all that it has to offer. This holds great truth, even when it is tough to believe it and even tougher yet to live it.This step in healing from loss is about acceptance. Allow yourself to come to terms with the idea that there are “before and after” points in life. “My life was like this before”, but now it is different, and then the “after” begins. The world still holds joy, it still holds opportunities, there are still many things to discover about yourself and about life. And maybe that begins with discovering how strong you really are. Maybe it begins with a new sentence every morning that starts with “Today, I CAN…” and you step out into the world and find out what is out there for you right now. For now is the only time you have. Make the most of it…you deserve it!